There are many strategies that you can use to assist your child in developing positive social skills and by implementing these strategies regularly you can encourage the “right” sort of behavior in your child. Empowered with positive skills, they will then, in turn, have a much better chance to live the socially and emotionally happy and secure life that they deserve.
Try the following with your child so they can develop the social skills and pro-social behavior they need that will lead to the enjoyment of school and life in general:
Teach Your Child About Emotions and Empathy
Talking to your child about their feelings and the feelings of others will assist in developing their understanding and improve the social skills that they display.
Communicating to your child, the way their behavior makes you feel is very effective e.g. “I’m really upset because you won’t play nicely with me.” Or, “The way you spoke to me makes me feel sad!” They don’t intentionally want to hurt or upset you and are often quite unaware of the consequences of their actions and words. By discussing your feelings with them, they’ll become much more aware and considerate of others.
Point out examples of people experiencing different emotional states and talk about why those people feel that way. For example, if a sibling or friend is angry you could talk about what made them angry and discuss their reaction. Then discuss how that negative behavior isn’t going to solve the problem. You could brainstorm with your child how those people could have solved the problem differently.
Play with Your Child
Playtime with your child is fun for both of you and it can be a very special opportunity for the one-on-one time that will not last forever. As well as this, it’s a great opportunity to discuss, demonstrate, and develop positive social skills. Encourage the concept of playing “with” each other without anyone being “the boss” or dominating the playtime. This is a perfect occasion to demonstrate and teach sharing. As you play, remind and reinforce the need for good manners, sharing, and being a caring “friend.”
Use Praise Often
Whenever you do you see your child behaving in a positive manner and displaying good social skills, always be sure to praise them. Make sure you tell them why they’re receiving praise, e.g. “Adam, you are such a great kid, I love the way you shared the blocks with Sam.” Children respond so well to praise and this will simply encourage the behavior to continue.
Be a Positive Role Model
Children learn from what they see and if you constantly display pro-social behavior and positive social skills when interacting with them and with other people as well, they’ll copy this.
We’re all human though, and it’s easy to lose control at times. If this happens, simply discuss the issue with your child and also how you can deal with your behavior e.g. apologizing, remembering to say a belated “thank you” etc. This way, they can experience firsthand the appropriate way to deal with emotional outbursts or negative behaviors when and if they do occur. This strategy will help to strengthen and improve their social skills.
Try implementing these strategies as often as possible with your child so that they’re able to communicate and interact with others positively. Equipped with good social skills, their chance of success at school will increase dramatically. A socially happy child is much more willing and motivated to learn. So make it a point to encourage the best social skills in your child that you can, from as early an age as possible.
Why Are Some Children and Adults So Negative?
We all know people who can’t maintain a relationship and who lack positive interpersonal skills. Yes, they find a close friend or lover and then due to poor interpersonal skills, sabotage any chances they have of continuing the relationship. Many of these people suffer from Attachment Disorder. It’s estimated that 90% of prisoners suffer from this disorder. Not everyone who has this disorder goes to jail, but they do end up being lonely old people.
The first 3 years of a child’s life are crucial for developing the interpersonal skills necessary to relate to people and maintain relationships. How a baby and toddler relates to his or her parents at this tender age is incredibly important. If a caring and loving relationship isn’t formed, then this can lead to a life of poor interpersonal skills and broken relationships.
Of course, people who have Attachment Disorder will have varying degrees of problems. The best way to avoid this is to form a loving and close relationship with your baby from birth. Some people think that the first 3 years don’t matter because the child won’t remember those years anyway. Wrong! Interpersonal skills must be developed as early as possible.
FAQs
1. What are social skills, and why are they important?
Social skills refer to the abilities and behaviors that allow individuals to interact effectively with others in various social situations. These skills encompass communication, empathy, cooperation, problem-solving, and self-awareness. They are crucial for building and maintaining healthy relationships, succeeding in the workplace, and navigating everyday interactions.
2. How can I improve my social skills?
Improving social skills involves a combination of self-awareness, practice, and learning new behaviors. Some strategies to enhance social skills include actively listening to others, observing social cues, practicing assertiveness, empathizing with others’ perspectives, and seeking feedback from trusted individuals. Engaging in social activities, joining clubs or groups, and participating in social skills training programs can also be beneficial.
3. What are the benefits of having positive social skills?
Positive social skills can lead to numerous benefits in both personal and professional life. These include forming meaningful connections and friendships, fostering collaboration and teamwork, resolving conflicts constructively, building self-confidence, and enhancing overall well-being. Additionally, individuals with strong social skills often experience greater success in their careers and have a more satisfying social life.
4. How do I overcome social anxiety and shyness?
Overcoming social anxiety and shyness requires gradual exposure to social situations and practicing coping strategies. Techniques such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, and visualization can help manage anxious feelings. Setting small, achievable goals for social interaction and gradually increasing exposure can also build confidence over time. Seeking support from a therapist or joining a support group can provide additional guidance and encouragement.
5. Can social skills be learned or are they innate?
While some individuals may naturally possess certain social skills, social competence is largely learned and developed over time. Through observation, feedback, and practice, individuals can acquire and refine their social skills at any age. Like any skill, improvement comes with effort and persistence. With dedication and the right resources, anyone can enhance their social abilities and navigate social situations more effectively.
