Psychologists think that limits make a child feel safer and calmer. However, certain restraints can do just the opposite, making your little one feel insecure and slowing their development.
Here are some things you should allow your kids to do. For instance, crying and being noisy.
You may say, ‘No way! How will this work?!’
Well, just have a look at our tips. We promise – your new behavior will be the best gift for your children.
Number 1 – asking questions.
A child grows and learns about the world, naturally finding more and more questions. It may be hard for parents to answer all of them in the evening when they’re tired,
but quality time with your kids helps them develop. Also, it creates a strong bond between you that will stay with you even when your children grow up.
By the way, don’t forget to ask your child some questions as well. One of them might be, ‘How was your day?’
If at first, your child doesn’t want to respond or just says something like ‘fine’, or ‘everything’s okay’ you don’t need to insist on a fuller answer.
Tell your child about your day, things you have learned, and things you have enjoyed. This provides them with a good role model and will encourage them to talk to you about their experiences.
Number 2 – feeling angry or jealous.
A child is a person, and they have the right to have negative feelings.
Remember that their willpower isn’t strong yet, and they have trouble controlling themselves.
Your kids shouldn’t just stop expressing their feelings if we think they’re “bad” ones.
Number 3 – being greedy.
A child has the right to have things of their own, just like adults do. Never shame them for being greedy.
Instead, ask them to exchange their toys with other kids. In this case, they’ll grow generous and kind.
However, if your child doesn’t want to share their toys with others, never force them to do it.
Number 4 – saying “no”.
Your child isn’t your subject. They’re a family member in their right.
Forbidding them to say no to you means violating their borders.
Instead, try to find a way to explain to them why they sometimes must do what they don’t want to.
Number 5 – having secrets.
The older your kids are, the more they need their privacy. You should know what’s going on in their lives, but make sure you don’t trespass.
Your kid’s trust is priceless, and it’s best not to risk it by reading their diaries or pressing them for secrets. However, always show your kid that you’re interested in them. You can ask them about their friends or even best friends.
This will enable your child to trust you and to open up to you if they face a difficult situation. Try not to interrupt your kids when they are telling you a story. Make comments only when they ask you to.
Do not forget about physical contact. Hug your child or grab their hand. If you are in a bad mood or simply don’t feel like listening to your son or daughter right now,
tell them about it and set a time when you can talk together.
Number 6 – being afraid.
Little kids may become scared of a doctor or a strange relative, and that’s fine. Don’t shame them for being afraid, but let them know you’re there and there’s nothing to fear.
Also, if you have a son, never tell him anything like, ‘Boys are not meant to get scared’ or ‘Men don’t have a right to express their feelings’.
Instead, say it differently. ‘It’s fine to feel like that.’ ‘What frightened you?’ in this case your child will learn to trust you.
Number 7 – being noisy.
Don’t spoil your kid’s childhood. Let them sing songs and make noises.
When they grow up, society won’t let them do many things and will force them to follow a lot of rules.
So childhood is the only period of their lives when they are free to do so.
Number 8 – crying.
Children feel everything much more vividly than adults. Don’t forbid your kid to cry, nor shame them for tears.
It’s better to help them understand why they’re crying and find a way to deal with it.
When we say ‘don’t cry’ or ‘don’t shout,’ a child hears only ‘don’t express your emotions’.
Instead, you can say it differently. ‘It seems you’re tired,’ or ‘You just got upset’. You should always try to understand your child’s feelings.
Number 9 – making mistakes.
No one likes making mistakes, and it’s even worse when an adult scolds you for them.
It’s no surprise that a child won’t ever want to do anything on their own after that.
Never say ‘You should be ashamed of yourself’ or ‘You’re a bad person’. These phrases might upset your child.
Instead, say ‘We all make mistakes. They help us learn.’ Now here’s a little bonus. Don’t be shy to offer your help.
Most of us find it difficult to ask other people for help.
A child who is not used to getting help with small things won’t ask their parents for assistance in difficult situations either.
Take small steps at first. Offer your child help with cleaning their room or doing their homework.
Don’t be afraid to ask.
In fact, asking your child if they need help every day gives you the chance to be there for them when they need you the most.
However, this doesn’t mean that you should start doing everything for your kid.
Do you know any other parenting mistakes that all of us should avoid?
