Hey, future Papa Bears!
If you’ve got a baby girl on the way (or maybe she’s already here!), have you already started feeling the panic rising up?
“How do I play with her? What are we supposed to talk about? What do I do?!”
Yeah, I went through it too – twice, in fact!
So having 2 daughters myself, I’ve come up with some tips when it comes to raising girls.
First of all: Spend time with her.
Start as soon as she’s born.
This will help her understand your role as a dad and that fathers are just as important as mothers in a child’s life.
It might feel weird at first because you’re totally clueless or you don’t feel that connection yet.
But you gotta build that bond, and that’s exactly what quality time spent together is for!
I remember I’d take the girls for a walk in their strollers so that Mom could have some much-needed rest and me-time.
And to this day, my daughters and I have made it a tradition to go for walks with each other!
Next: Don’t be afraid of taking on baby duties.
Of course, spending time together and playing is great and all, but dads shouldn’t just be there for the fun parts.
You need to help out with baby duties too, and that includes changing diapers and potty training.
The days of Mom being responsible for EVERYTHING when it comes to taking care of a baby are done and over.
You can make a bottle, change a diaper, give her a bath – all of it!
And in case you’re like, “Well, my wife is good about staying on top of those things,” then check this out: research shows that if dads help out with baby duties, it increases oxytocin levels, which is a hormone that helps people create and strengthen bonds!
Don’t be a macho dad.
There’s no need to be the silent type that only engages with his daughter whenever she needs a dollhouse built or anything else that requires physical strength.
Sure, you can obviously do those things, but don’t let Bob the Builder and Fred the Fixer be your only roles as a father.
Don’t be afraid to show your soft side.
I’ll never forget when my older daughter got sick with the flu when she was a toddler.
I just held her in my arms and comforted her, read her favorite fairy tales to her, anything that’d make her feel better.
Nothing beats that overwhelming feeling of fatherly love. Don’t be afraid to be a softy, guys!
Kids really can melt you!
Answer her questions.
You are your daughter’s superhero, her rock, her protector…and her encyclopedia!
Get ready for LOTS of questions.
I don’t mean you need to know the answer to “Who was the first Disney Princess?” (By the way, it’s Snow White, in case she asks!).
But any time she has a question, try to answer it.
Even if you don’t know the answer, look it up!
What’s even better is to guide her to find the answer herself, especially with “how to” tasks.
Whenever you have the option, don’t just do something for her or explain how to do it – see if she can figure it out with some guidance.
This will really sharpen her problem-solving skills, and that will help her out later in life!
Try to understand her, even if you can’t.
When your daughter is talking to you in her toddler gibberish, let her get it all out, encourage her, and engage in the “conversation” as best as you can.
You probably won’t understand a lick, but you can pretend!
This will teach her to feel comfortable expressing herself and never keep things bottled up.
What she has to say is important, and she needs to understand that.
Don’t be shy to kiss her.
This is one of those fears first-time dads might feel. Is it ok to show physical affection to your daughter?
Shouldn’t you be the tough silent type and Mom is the cuddly one?
Listen, you absolutely can (and should!) show your daughter love in the form of hugs and kisses.
You wouldn’t be doing her any favors by keeping your distance because she’ll feel like she’s more loved by her mom.
She should get affection from both her parents equally!
Let her choose her hobbies.
Everybody has an opinion on what daughters should be like and do.
There’s the camp that says girls should play with dolls and dress up in princess costumes.
Others say you should discourage the traditional stuff and go play football with her out in the yard.
Listen, the answer to all this debate is simple: let her choose her interests!
If she likes teatime with Barbie, ok!
If she’d rather play with Hot Wheels out in the dirt, let her do it!
Maybe she wants to do one or the other depending on her mood.
Giving her a choice will boost her confidence and make her more independent.
Again, that stuff is critical later on when
she’s all grown up!
Be a dad who helps around the house.
Going along that same line, show your daughter that dads also do dishes, dust furniture, whatever it might be.
Your early years are probably the most formative when it comes to her worldview.
Just like with baby duties, the household stuff isn’t just something that Mom always takes care of, and your daughter should see that for herself.
Of course, this will often depend on your family situation.
If you work long hours, then you probably won’t have a lot of time to help around the house.
But if you can, it’d be a good thing for a young girl to see firsthand.
It’s even better when you do chores together!
The next one is key: Be a full-time dad, including on the weekends.
Hey, I get it.
It was a tough work week, and all you wanna do is sit on the couch and watch TV on the weekends.
But being a parent is a full-time job, and you don’t get breaks.
Kids don’t get the concept of work or work exhaustion – they only see it as “My dad doesn’t ever spend time with me.”
And that’s an awful feeling for any child to have.
Play with your kids, do projects together, talk to them, and don’t just save that for when it’s convenient for you!
Carry her on your shoulders.
Trust me, kids love it, so you better do it before they get too heavy!
I mean, just think about when you were little: did your dad ever hike you upon his shoulders?
It’s the coolest feeling in the world seeing everything from a different perspective!
Try to remember yourself when you were their age, and that’ll help you understand what excites or interests them.
My older daughter is a little too big for that now, but my 3-year-old can’t get enough of it!
If we’re taking a walk or watching a parade, you can bet she’s up on my shoulders!
Teach her about discipline.
Here’s a tricky one any parent struggles with.
When it comes to discipline, you don’t wanna be a tyrant, but you also don’t wanna spoil them.
The only thing I can say that works for me is to teach your kids about self-control and that actions have consequences.
This way, they’ll think before they act. And don’t focus on the punishment stuff like taking away their toys or TV time when they act up.
It’s a lot better to parent through some sort of reward system.
And it can be for little stuff like brushing their teeth before bed, doing their chores, and picking up their toys after they’re done playing with them.
Teach your kids responsibility, and you shouldn’t have to worry about disciplining them too much!
And finally: Politely refuse when she asks you to marry her.
I can’t tell you how taken aback I was when my older daughter asked if she could marry me.
She was still really little at the time, maybe 3- or 4-years-old.
Now, it sounds awkward when you’re an adult and it’s your daughter popping the question.
But remember, kids this age don’t understand what “marry” means.
For them, they know Mom and Dad are married, and they’re together.
So, what your little girl is saying is that she wants to keep you in her life forever.
Don’t take it too weirdly, and just explain to her that you’re married to her mom, and someday she’ll marry someone else if she wants.
But that doesn’t mean you won’t always be there for her when she needs you!
Do you have any other tips that all the dads out there should know?
Feel free to leave them down in the comments!
