10 Parenting Tips to Calm Down Any Child In a Minute

Parenting is a wonderful journey, but let’s be honest, it comes with its share of challenges. One of the biggest hurdles many parents face is dealing with temper tantrums and challenging behavior from their children. It can feel like your little one goes “wild for no particular reason,” leaving you feeling helpless and frustrated. But what if we told you that there are proven parenting tips and strategies that can help you understand, prevent, and manage these moments calmly?

This article, brought to you by MomFeeling, will dive deep into expert-backed advice designed to help you navigate these tricky situations. We’ll explore why children have tantrums, how to prepare for them, and what to do when they happen, all while fostering a stronger, more positive relationship with your child. Get ready to transform challenging moments into opportunities for growth and understanding!

Key Takeaways

• Understand the “Why”: Most tantrums, especially in kids aged 1-4, stem from unmet needs, frustration with limited language, or testing boundaries.
• Proactive Preparation is Key: Ensure your child is well-rested, fed, and has comfort items to prevent meltdowns before they start.
• Empower Through Choice: Offering small, safe choices helps children feel in control and reduces power struggles.
• Teach Emotional Regulation: Help your child identify and express their feelings with words, not just screams, and model calm behavior yourself.
• Positive Reinforcement Works Wonders: Praise good behavior and use positive language to guide your child, focusing on what to do rather than what not to do.

Understanding Tantrums: Why Do They Happen?

Before we dive into effective parenting tips, let’s understand the “enemy” – temper tantrums. These outbursts are very common in children aged 1 to 4, with more than half of them letting their frustration out at least once a week, or even more often.

So, why do our little ones suddenly go from sweet angels to screaming monsters? It’s not usually because they’re “bad.” It’s often because:

• Limited Language Skills: Especially for toddlers (under 2.5 years old), their vocabulary isn’t advanced enough to describe everything they feel, want, or need. Imagine feeling super hungry but only being able to say “Me want!” – it’s frustrating!
• Unmet Needs: They might be tired 😴, hungry 🍎, overstimulated, or simply bored.
• Testing Limits: Kids are natural explorers. They’re figuring out the world and their place in it, which includes testing how far they can push boundaries to see what happens. Sometimes, a loud cry brings attention or a treat, so why not try it?
• Desire for Control: As children grow, they want more independence. When they feel powerless, a tantrum can be their way of asserting some control.
• Emotional Overload: Just like adults, children can become overwhelmed by intense emotions such as anger, sadness, or disappointment. They haven’t learned how to manage these emotions yet.

Understanding these reasons is the first step toward effective parenting tips that truly help.

Proactive Parenting Tips: Preventing Meltdowns Before They Start

Prevention is often the best medicine when it comes to tantrums. By being proactive, you can reduce the likelihood of outbursts.

1. Make Your Child Feel Comfortable & Prepared

As we learned, kids often whine for a reason. You can neutralize many of these reasons before they even become an issue. Think of it as setting your child up for success!

Before heading out for shopping or any activity:

• Ensure Basic Needs Are Met: Did they have enough sleep? Have they eaten recently? Do they need a snack or a drink? A well-fed, well-rested child is a happier child.
• Pack Comfort Items:
  • A favorite toy: Taking a familiar toy to the grocery store might save your child from begging for a new one.
  • A beloved blanket or stuffed animal: If you’re going out for an extended period, this can give them a sense of home and safety, especially in unfamiliar environments.
  • Snacks and drinks: Always have easy-to-grab, healthy snacks and water on hand.

“When you are a parent, you tend to take plenty of stuff with you even when you leave the house for an hour. If someone is making fun of you, let them! The most important thing is that you both feel comfortable and prepared for whatever may come your way.”

Remember, it’s not about spoiling; it’s about being prepared! This is one of the most fundamental parenting tips for smooth outings.

2. Let Your Toddler Choose (Wisely!)

According to WebMD medical reference, it’s a great idea to let your child choose. We’re not talking about life-defining decisions, such as which house to move into or where to go on vacation. Start with little things that will make them feel like they are in control.

Why does this help?
Giving choices helps children feel empowered and respected. It also subtly teaches them about responsibility, as they see how their choices affect their actions and emotions.

Smart Ways to Offer Choices:

• Offer limited options: Instead of an open-ended question, give two or three acceptable options. For example:
  • “Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt today?” 👕
  • “Would you like apple slices or a banana for a snack?” 🍎🍌
  • “Do you want to read ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ or ‘Brown Bear, Brown Bear’ before bed?” 📚
• Frame essential tasks as choices: You can cleverly direct your child where you want them to be. For instance, when waking them up: “Do you want to get dressed first or brush your teeth?” They will have to do both eventually, but this way, they feel they are given some choice.

3. Find Out What’s Bothering Your Kid

This tip is especially important for kids under two-and-a-half, explains Jay Hooker, MD, a pediatrician from Rochester, Minnesota. At this age, they might have a vocabulary of around 50 words and can’t build a sentence out of them.

But they still have cravings, thoughts, and wishes they can’t just announce to you. If you don’t get the message, and they don’t get the answer, what do they do? Throw a tantrum!

Dr. Hooker offers a helpful solution:
Try to create a simple sign language that your kid will understand and remember. Teach them to show basic words like:

• “Food” 🍽️
• “Milk” 🥛
• “Sleep” 😴
• “More” 👋
• “All done” 👐

This can work miracles by providing them with a way to communicate their basic needs and feelings, thereby reducing frustration before it escalates. Observing their nonverbal cues (such as pointing, grunting, and facial expressions) can also provide clues.

In-the-Moment Parenting Tips: Calming the Storm

Despite your best preventative efforts, tantrums will still happen. Here are parenting tips for managing them calmly and effectively when they do.

4. Distract Your Little One

You know how, when you feel sad or something is bothering you, going out with friends or reading a book can help you set your mind on other things? It works similarly for children! Your child is unlikely to be dealing with a breakup or job loss, but they have their own concerns.

When you feel a tantrum brewing – the baby’s face is reddening, or they are giving other warning signs – try to distract them.

Effective Distraction Techniques:

• Change of Scenery: “Let’s go for a walk!” 🚶‍♀️
• Engage with a Favorite Activity: “How about we read your favorite book?” 📖
• Simple Humor: Even telling a little joke or making a funny face can help, say the experts from WebMD medical reference. 😄
• Point Out Something New: “Look! A red car!” 🚗 or “Listen to that bird singing!” 🐦

These are all great ways to divert your child’s fleeting attention and shift their focus away from the source of their frustration.

5. Become a Good Teacher for Your Kid

Do you remember your favorite teacher? How about you become your kid’s favorite teacher?

First, stop being angry at them for throwing tantrums. A great teacher wouldn’t be mad at you for not being good at physics, right? Tantrums are a sign that your child needs to learn better ways to cope and communicate.

Second, teach your little one to overcome frustration. Show them healthy coping mechanisms. For example:

• “When you feel angry, you can draw a picture.” 🎨
• “If you’re sad, reading a book or cuddling with your favorite toy can help.”
• “Use your words to tell me how you feel.”

Michael Borba, Ed.D., author of Parents Do Make a Difference, explains that kids really want to do what is right, but sometimes they just don’t know what that is. It’s your job to teach them.

Important Teaching Moments:

• Model Calmness: Never yell in front of your kid. Your calm reaction teaches them how to respond to stress.
• Teach “Angry Vocabulary”: You could even create a list of words for your child to express negative emotions, such as “I’m frustrated,” “I’m angry,” and “I’m sad.” This gives them tools far better than screaming.
• Explain Consequences (Gently): “When you hit, it hurts. We don’t hit.”

6. Do Not Provoke Tantrums

Why would you ever provoke a tantrum? Well, you’re not trying to, but you might accidentally trigger them. This is about setting up your environment and interactions to reduce triggers.

Common Triggers to Avoid:

• Visible Temptations: Your child loves candy, but too much of it is bad for them. Then do not put it where they can see it! Why remind them of something you don’t want them to have? Store tempting items out of sight.
• Sudden Interruptions: Your kid doesn’t like to be forcefully interrupted or feels uncomfortable about doing certain things (like leaving the park).
  • Give Warnings: “In five minutes, we need to leave the park.” “Two more slides, then it’s time to go.” This gives them time to transition.
  • Explain the “Why”: “We need to go now so we can get home for dinner.” The activity itself might not last long, but the tantrum and bad mood could last for hours if they feel ambushed.

7. Use Positive Words

Millions of people in 47 countries worldwide love Supernanny. This modern-day Mary Poppins gives great parenting advice. One of the things she suggests is using positive advice instead of negative.

Every time you feel like screaming “No!”, “Don’t!”, and “Stop!”, try to rephrase it.

Instead of: “Don’t jump on the couch!” (This could motivate your kid to do the opposite, especially if they are moody.)
Try: “Furniture is for sitting. You could go outside if you want to jump!” 🤸‍♀️ This sounds much better and is unlikely to lead to conflict.

More Examples of Positive Language:

Instead of Saying…	Try Saying…
“Don’t run!”	“Please walk slowly.”
“Stop yelling!”	“Use your quiet voice.”
“Don’t make a mess!”	“Let’s keep our toys in the box.”
“Are you going to be good?”	“I know you can make good choices today.”
“Don’t touch that!”	“We look with our eyes, not our hands.”

Using positive language helps children understand what is expected of them, rather than just what isn’t.

8. Keep a Straight Face (and a Plan!)

Introduce a new family rule to your child: when they start whining, you have the right not to respond. If that happens, keep your face straight.

Jane Nelson, Ed.D., the co-author of Positive Discipline for Preschoolers, recommends introducing a warning sign to indicate when you will stop listening. This could be:

• Pulling your ear.
• Shaking your head.
• Touching your nose.

It can be anything you choose, as long as it’s consistent. The idea is to show your child that their whining or tantrum will not get them the attention or desired outcome. You are not ignoring them, but ignoring the behavior. Once they calm down, you can then engage.

Long-Term Parenting Tips: Building Positive Habits & Life Skills

Beyond immediate tantrum management, these parenting tips focus on nurturing long-term positive behavior and essential life skills.

9. Give Praise When the Kid Deserves It

We are not just talking about money here; your baby will unlikely appreciate it anyway! Thank your kids for doing the right thing.

Dr. Michele Borba thinks it is a good idea to say things like:

• “Thank you for using your normal voice.”
• “My ears love that voice!”
• “I appreciate how you shared your toys.”
• “You worked so hard on that drawing!”

Do not feel awkward about giving thanks for the most basic things. This is called positive reinforcement, and it’s incredibly powerful. It tells your child exactly what behavior you want to see more of.

Consider age-appropriate motivators:
Motivate them to behave well in exchange for little treats or privileges. Tell your child, “If you make it through family dinner without whining, you can watch your favorite cartoon right after.” This teaches them about cause and effect and the benefits of good behavior.

10. Be Smart About Pocket Money & Rewards

All families are different and have different incomes. There is no universal answer for how much pocket money to give your kid. Rooster Money, a resource focused on managing pocket money for your child, offers an allowance report. It states that 4-year-olds receive an average of $2.82, and this amount gradually increases, doubling by the time the child turns 9 years old. An average 14-year-old gets $8.79 a week.

Why give pocket money?
Pocket money should allow the kid to:

• Save money for a special toy they like.
• Buy gifts for their siblings and other family members.
• Go out with their friends (e.g., to buy a movie ticket).

Important Considerations:

• Teaching Value: If you give your child too much, they will struggle to understand the value of money. Your kids should know that money is earned, not just granted, and it is spent when it is used.
• Chores vs. Allowance: Some parents pay their kids to do chores around the house. It is not always a good idea because they might believe the only reason to do something for their family’s good is to be paid. Chores are often about contributing to the family unit, not just earning money.
• Token Systems: Dr. Rebecca Chicor, author of The Calm and Happy Toddler and co-founder of a central parent source, recommends giving your child tokens, not real money. You decide how much these tokens are worth. By saving them, kids can “pay” for meaningful experiences (e.g., extra screen time, a special outing with a parent, choosing dinner). This teaches delayed gratification and value without tying family contributions directly to cash.

There is no single rule that applies to all families. Just as you have your attitude towards your money, you can also decide about your child’s pocket money. The goal is to teach financial literacy and promote responsible financial behavior.

Beyond Tantrums: Essential Parenting Principles

While the above parenting tips focus on behavior, broader principles underpin successful parenting.

Consistency is Key

Children thrive on predictability. When you establish rules and consequences, be sure to stick to them. If you say “no” one day and “yes” the next for the same behavior, your child will get confused and be more likely to test limits. This is a core answer to “What is the 7 7 7 rule for parenting?” – it’s not a strict rule, but the principle of repetition and consistency (doing things the same way over and over) is vital for children to learn and internalize expectations.

Model the Behavior You Want to See

Children are constantly observing and imitating. If you want your child to be calm, respectful, and communicate effectively, you need to demonstrate those qualities yourself. This includes how you manage your own stress and emotions.

Prioritize Connection & Quality Time

Often, misbehavior is a bid for attention. Spending dedicated, positive one-on-one time with your child each day can significantly reduce their need to seek attention through negative means. Play together, read together, or simply chat about their day. These moments build a strong bond and a secure attachment.

Take Care of Yourself, Parent!

“How to calm down as a parent?” This is a crucial question! You can’t pour from an empty cup. Parenting is demanding, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed.

• Deep Breaths: When you feel your own frustration rising, take a few deep breaths.
• Step Away (if safe): If you’re about to lose your cool, and your child is in a safe place, step into another room for a minute to compose yourself.
• Seek Support: Talk to a partner or friend, or join a parenting community for support and shared experiences.
• Self-Care: Even small acts of self-care (a warm bath, a short walk, listening to music) can make a big difference in your ability to respond calmly to your child’s challenges. Remember, you can’t effectively implement these parenting tips if you’re constantly stressed.

FAQs About Parenting Tips

Before I Go (Conclusion)

Parenting is a journey filled with incredible highs and, yes, some challenging lows. Dealing with tantrums and difficult behavior is a normal part of raising children, especially toddlers. By applying these effective parenting tips, you’re not just trying to “calm down any child in a minute”; you’re equipping yourself with tools to understand your child better, prevent future meltdowns, and teach them essential life skills like emotional regulation and self-control.

Remember to be patient with yourself and your child. Every day is a new opportunity to learn and grow together. Focus on building a strong, loving connection, and you’ll navigate these challenges with more confidence and peace.

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter and stay connected! Join our 10,000+ subscribers to get our latest blogs, parenting tips, instructions & updates straight to your inbox.