“Did you finish your homework? Clean your room! Get off the computer and do your chores!”
Oof, really takes you back, doesn’t it?
When you’re a teen, you roll your eyes and let out a big sigh every time your mothers nag you, but studies show you should be thanking them!
You might find it hard to believe, but it seems that your parents’ nagging is good for you.
At least that’s what UK researchers from the University of Essex have found.
Actually, they say it’s specifically girls whose moms were always on to them that are more likely to succeed in life.
Nurturing Success through Nagging
It turns out that if you have a pushy mom, you have a higher chance of getting better grades and going to college.
Of course, you know what that means: you’re less likely to end up unemployed or with a low-paid job. On top of that, there are lower rates of teenage pregnancy among girls whose moms had a particular talent for nagging.
And that’s a good thing because, believe it or not, obesity and chronic illnesses are more common among people born to teen moms. Also, kids of very young mothers tend to do more poorly in school. Wow, who knew all of that could be connected?
The Teen’s Perspective
But let’s look at it from a teen’s perspective – that’s only fair, right? Most teenagers just wanna be independent and make their own decisions.
So, obviously, when their parents start barking orders at them or telling them what to do, it’s not really the coolest thing in the world, ya know?
I mean, you’re trying to become your own person and live your own life, yet all that nagging makes you feel like a little kid.
Influence Beyond Rebellion
But however hard you may try to go against your parents’ “words of wisdom,” they still influence your choices whether you like it or not.
But let’s take a look at how those researchers came to this conclusion in the first place.
In 2004, they started studying 15,500 schoolgirls aged 13 to 14. For the next 6 years, the scientists observed the teenagers, while the girls’ parents filled out questionnaires about their kids.
The first thing that came to light was that the parent who had way more nagging power was usually the mom.
Besides, moms were more likely to be strict with their daughters than dads were.
According to some of the women, they wanted to give their girls goals to achieve and instill in them certain values, hence all the nagging.
You can guess that these girls didn’t always like the way their moms kept on them, but they did respect their mothers’ opinions all the same.
Some of them even told the researchers that the nagging helped them stay focused.
The Power of Consistent Guidance
But what do mothers themselves think of their bagginess? One mom explained that it was her job to stay with her daughter.
If she only reminded her daughter to do something just once, this mom felt like her daughter wouldn’t take it as seriously. That’s why she has to be strict and say the same thing over and over again so that her daughter will know that she means business!
Well, if that’s what moms like this woman are doing, then it’s obviously working. So, your mom’s infamous “You’ll thank me later!” might come true sooner than you think!
Lessons for Success
But what about the specifics? For example, as a teen, I never understood why I have to make my bed every morning when I’m just gonna mess it up that night! Well, even the most mundane tasks your parents give you do set you up for success later on in life.
For example, it’ll do you good if… – Your parents made you do your chores. (Ah, classic parent stuff!) Some experts are sure that kids with their own responsibilities grow up into more successful adults.
More specifically, they don’t have problems working with others. I know, it sounds totally disconnected at first. But the secret is that when you do your own laundry, take out the trash, or do the dishes, you’re helping your family.
This attitude sticks with you throughout your life. You realize that the work of the entire team depends on each member, so you’re not as likely to slack off. By the way, people who helped their parents in their childhood are statistically better at working independently as well! Win-win!
If your parents taught you math early on, don’t worry, they weren’t trying to bore you to death. They just wanted you to grow up into a successful person! A 2007 study involving over 35,000 preschoolers all over Canada, the US, and England proved that kids who started to study math in their childhood had a huge advantage in the future.
For example, preschoolers who could already recognize numbers and count, as well as having some other basic math concepts under their little belts were also great at reading!
Instilling Grit for Success
Your parents taught you “grit.” Groundbreaking research on this personality trait brought psychologist, Dr. Angela Duckworth, a really prestigious MacArthur Genius Fellowship in 2013, so this thing must be pretty significant, right? In fact, this success-driving and powerful trait helps support people’s interest in a long-term goal.
It means that parents who teach “grit” to their kids show them how to imagine the future they’d like to create and how to keep doing everything so that this dream comes true. So, if you believed that “grit” wasn’t that important when you were growing up, think again!
Empowering Working Moms
If your mom had a job when you were growing up, chances are that this seemingly unimportant and totally typical thing actually helped shape you for the better.
A Harvard Business School study showed that daughters whose moms worked outside the home got both higher salaries and positions more often than those of stay-at-home moms.
As for men raised by working moms, they spent 25 more minutes a week taking care of the kids and 7½ more hours doing household chores!
Parental Expectations and Success
Your parents had high expectations of you. Well, admittedly, you probably saw it as them putting too much pressure on you back then.
But you know what? Parents’ high expectations for their kids seem to equal more success later on in life. And, yes, there’s a science to back it up. When researchers from the University of California tested 6,600 teens, only 57% of those with the lowest test scores had parents who wanted them to go to college.
As for the top scorers, a whopping 97% of them had parents who were adamant about them getting a college degree.
It all has to do with the fact that parents who want their kids to get a higher education either directly or indirectly steer them toward this goal. And income doesn’t play a role here, so it’s not just the rich kids or anything. What’s more, some of those young people managed to reach impressive success in life to live up to their parent’s expectations.
Balancing Authority and Independence
I just can’t help but wonder if it’s made them happy. What do you think? Let me know in the comments!
- Your parents were strict. What I mean is, when you were a kid, did you ever feel really jealous of that one friend whose parents let them do whatever they want? Yet all your mom and dad ever did was set a bunch of rules for you and not let you do anything because it was “bad” for you. Well, maybe this will make you feel better….
There are basically 3 kinds of parenting styles: permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative.
Permissive moms and dads let their kids do anything they want and don’t punish them whatsoever.
(That’s your friend’s folks.) Authoritarian parents are the opposite: they try to control their kids and shape them based on their own specific standards. And finally, authoritative parents try to give their kids direction in life by making them think rationally.
So, guess which style experts consider ideal? Nope, it’s not the permissive one, however cool it may sound. The most effective way to bring up a child is by using the authoritative style. It teaches kids to respect authority, but it doesn’t make them feel strangled by super intense parental control.
Hmm, that makes sense!
But what about you, what things did your parents nag you about most of all? Let everybody know.
